Green Eyes

Current Mood: Annoyed

Tonight was the first time I've ever experienced sibling jealousy.

Fair enough - granted that I'm the only child...

But my dad came home tonight with a bike for my cousin. I might have mentioned that she's been wanting a bike for quite a while. And although it wasn't brand new, it was the fact that he just went and bought her a bike when I've never got something like that when I was small. I've always wanted a pair of rollerblades, a bike, a nintendo when I was small, and my parents never got me any of those. I had to learn how to rollerblade and ride a bike from my cousin Mary.

I know it's really petty of me. I mean, my cousin and her family has been through some really tough times - way more than our family. And she's here all alone. I'm (almost) all set for life, with a job - earning money, a good course, potentially a job as soon as I graduate, I have my family with me. I mean, I shouldn't be feeling anything but happiness for her, right? RIGHT?

I just can't help it.................!!!

It's been building up the last 2 and a bit months that she's been here. Just little things/habits that annoy me. Like, the way she asks for my things - I'm happy to lend her things, but just ask more nicely! Some things I lend her, never seems to make it back to me, or if they are returned, she doesn't tell me, and I see it sitting on my dresser. Now, my mum knows that I ABSOLUTELY hate her going into my room without asking me (although she still does - but she's my mother!), so it really annoys me that my cousin does it too. Hmmm...I've noticed that I'm very territorial...
So, anyway the point is that I can't really tell her off without making her feel really bad, sad, unwanted...blah blah. Plus, I'd feel guilty about that. Plus plus, I probably do some stuff that she's not use to as well, yeah? So with all these niggly things and the bike incident tonight, I've discovered my green eyes.

I really don't want to feel this way - though I must say, that I'd probably look sexy with green eyes...hahahahahaha

Ah-hem, anyway, I really must be more accepting of things.

Post it Note

Current Mood: Sleepy

I absolutely love my poster of Johnny Depp. Everytime I go into my room and I see that poster, I feel so girlie...I kind of grin, and squeal - well not quite squeal but kind of "aww", he's gorgeous type thing...

Anyway, just to add to my randomness. Is it selfish of me to love my teddy so much?

I said I wouldn't trade it for 1 billion dollars, but think of all I can do with that much money! I can help so many people with that money, so many poor countries! Think of all the starving kids! But I still feel reluctant to give it up. Is it wrong of me to be so attached to something that's not alive? I mean, it has a ton of sentimental value, but it's not like the teddy's alive to talk to me, or be my best friend...even so, I wouldn't even trade it for one that's identical, or one that's identical but clean and white and one which the stuffing is all stuffed up...so am I being selfish?

On another note, I'm starting to get stressed about exams.....but am sooooooo sleepy at the moment....

night

A Taste of New with Old

Current Mood: Indescribable

So the past week has been mixed for me. I've experience many things that I've experienced before...but spiced up...I guess that's the only way I can describe it.

Firstly, Road Rage!! I've experience road rage before, especially if you've ever been to China! Now that's one hell of a road rage breeding ground. I've screamed, I've yelled, I've told my dad to toot the horn, I've tooted the horn! But have never done anything outrageous.
So yes, last Sunday, I was turning out of my side street onto the main road with oncoming traffic, when I decided to be in a foolishly brave mood. In other words, I did not give way...I mean, it was still safe! The next car was still quite a few metres away! I assumed that my cutting in front of that car caused some form of braking as the guy decided to beep me.
Anyway, we stop at the intersection, and he pulled up to my right. Now, I knew he was going to do something to me, so I purposely looked the other way for a while, ignoring him. Unfortunately, I turned to talk to my cousin and saw that guy (probably in his 50's) leaning eagerly/angrily over his open window, looking at me. Then almost in slow motion, I saw him stick his finger up at me, I turned away, and impulsively stuck my finger back at him. A moment later, the light turned green and I zoomed off.
Now why is it that after an event happens, you think of the right/witty/funny thing to say? Because as I was driving off, I had the urge to roll down my window and yell "Just suck it up like a man!"
Sometimes I wish I could turn back time...

Second thing, work at Myer. I've done heaps of customer service/cash register stuff with the shop, but this was the first time doing it formally. I had a good time actually. It was like playing shop when you were young. But yes, funny thing was that I remember her story about getting hit in the wrong place...and I thought to myself - that won't happen to me. But alas, it did! Twice!
Once was because I went to a different register and every register opens at a different speed (I never realised!) So yes, that was the 2nd register I was on, and it just popped open, quick as lightening! Didn't even know what hit me! Until the onset of pain, of course...And the other time, I was just lost...I wasn't concentrating and forgot that the register actually opens...hmmm, stupid mistake. Won't happen again.

Thirdly. I've been asked out before, but never face to face. So that's what happened today. And do you know how hard it is to decide then and there? It was so much easier to accept/reject if it was over the phone or msn or email or sms....*sigh*. It was very ironic to happen on the day when honestly 1 hour and 15 mins earlier, I was saying that I wasn't actively looking for a boyfriend - if it happens, it happens.
I'm very lost on what to do...might need to sleep on it.